REDEEMED: STORIES BEHIND THE SONGS

Redeemed - Big Daddy Weave

When Mike Weaver and I got on Skype to write a song, we had no idea that God would step into those three hours and allow us to be a part of a song like Redeemed.  In fact, in the moment, we just thought we were writing a song that ministered to the both of us and to our churches...

Typically, a songwriting session starts with a conversation.  Mike was sharing about a holy encounter he had recently.  At that time, Mike had been a part of a weight loss campaign where he had very successfully lost all but 6 of 90 pounds.  He had lost 84 pounds.  But Mike, like all of us tend to do, saw the success of so much weight lots as a failure because of the 6 pounds he didn't lose.  So in his basement one night, as Mike was deep in a battle with self hatred, God met him in that moment and said "Mike, why don't you let me tell you what I think about you...I like the way you smile...I love your heart for people and I even like your silly sense of humor because I put all of that in you...and you're mine, not because of your track record or your ability or inability to do anything..it's based solely on what I have already done for you with the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed for your life...you are mine is because of my track record...".

As I heard him share his story, I realized that we were in a very similar place with different circumstances.  I was getting to the point where I (in my own words) was wondering "is there ever going to be a day where I don't wake up and struggle with stupid all day long..".  What I meant was would there ever be a day that I didn't struggle with my sin.  You know, that one sin that we find ourselves falling into again after we said we'd never go there again.  But prior to Mike and I's conversation, I had begun to find breakthrough because I realized that I had to move from "I don't want to ever want to go back to that sin again" to " I CAN'T go back to that sin again because that's just not who I am anymore.  That sin is an old coat that, by the grace of God, I've grown out...it just doesn't fit anymore."  In other words, I really started believing what God said about me in His word especially in Romans 8 (just read the whole chapter).

I don't remember where in our conversation he shared it, but at one point Mike shared the chorus of Redeemed that he had already started.  As soon as I heard it I was all in (first of all because it had a 6/8 blues vibe) because I also knew he had brought something very special and it was just a matter of building around that chorus and filling in the blanks with our stories.  I didn't know where and how far the song would go, but I did know that what we had written would would be a good prayer to put on the lips of the people in our churches and that was good enough.

It's been almost 3 years since Mike and I wrote that song.  More than the recognition and awards that have come with that song, the stories are still the biggest reward.  I've heard so many stories from inmates, recovering addicts, grieving families, and stay at home moms of how God used that song in their lives at the right time. Those stories never get old especially knowing that Mike and I were just sharing truth with each other that day and God chose to step in and take our little 6/8 blues song and use it to tell His story of restoration and redemption in so many other lives.

An Ode To My '96 Buick Regal

1 Samuel 16:7 (NASB)
"...For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

I loved my 1996 Buick Regal.  I loved that it looked like it's either a car that a pastor would drive or a car that a gangbanger would drive by in.  I like to think that on the inside, I am both a pastor and a gangsta.
I loved that I still had to start it with a key and not a button.  I loved that the suspension was worn out just enough that it bounced like I was navigating medium chop in an old speed boat.  I even loved that on long road trips, I felt the need to carry every possible car fluid imaginable to keep the engine running for the full trip.
The biggest reason I loved my 96 Regal so much was because it had a story.  I bought it in 2006 from a friend's dad who was selling his grandmother's car.  It was the classic "grandma car" story because it was ten years old and it only had 23K miles on it.  I paid 3K cash for essentially a brand new car.
A few years later I rear ended another car and did some minor damage.  Because of the car's age, my insurance company decided to total the car so my insurance company gave me a check for $3300.00.  I went to a friend's garage and I paid him $300.00 to fix my 'totaled' car..and BOOM I was driving a free car and I drove it until we moved to Tennessee and I had to trade it in for something with a working air conditioner.
Most people would look at my car and it's peeling clear coat skin with hidden disgust but I saw it with smiling delight because I knew it's story.
I think that's how God sees us.  He knows our story and so all the scars and blemishes that most would look at with judgement and disgust have become delightful and even beautiful to Him.  The things about us that the world sneers at are often the things that God proudly smiles at because we are His and He knows our story.

SHOES OFF

Exodus 3:5

“Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”

When we keep our shoes on, that usually means that we're not staying long. Even my oldest son understood the nature of shoes when he was only two. I had popped my head through through the door into his bedroom to see what he was up to. At the time, I was a new father and by nature, a very distracted guy who was not real good at the whole "daddy" thing yet (and I still haven't arrived). I was just wanting to check in on him and was probably also trying to relieve a guilty conscience because I had not spent a lot of time with him that day. But two year old Braden called my bluff. "Daddy, take your shoes off! Sit down and play with me." I can't effectively communicate how those words sounded coming out of a two year olds mouth but in all of their infinite cuteness they struck me with the force of a cuddly sledge hammer. I knew what my boy was saying. He was telling me that a "fly by visit" was not enough and as long as I had my shoes on, I wasn't there to stay. My initial response was to go to my room and weep because he had ripped my heart out with his tender request but instead I did exactly what he asked. I took my shoes off and sat down and played with my son for a long time.

As I have thought about my sons precious words, I think he was speaking a great truth about the time we spend in all of our relationships including our relationship with God. So many times I find my self "popping in" to say hello to God and to relieve a guilty conscience for not having spent more time with Him and during the short time that I am there, I have my "shoes on" as I am thinking about all of the things that I have to do or places I have to be. As a father, I wonder how I would feel if my son treated his time with me the same way that I had treated my time with Him?

I know that God is God but He is also a father who has made himself vulnerable to His children. In Exodus, God tells Moses to take his shoes off at the burning bush...I wonder if the modern translation of God's words to Moses might sound something like this... "Son, because I'm here, You are in a holy place and a holy moment. Take off your shoes and stay a while? I want to be with you"..

"EXCLUSIVE"...A WORD THAT ANNOYS ME WHEN DESCRIBING THE GOSPEL

There is something about the word "exclusive" that drives me a little nutty when it comes to the Gospel.  It's not because it's not true in the theological sense that Jesus is the only way to God the Father...it's more because of the ways that it has often been wrongly used to describe the Gospel.

One of the ways that "exclusive" has been misused is much like the kid who gets invited to the Chucky Cheese birthday party brags to the kid who didn't get invited.  It wreaks of an "I'm right and I get to go/ you're wrong and you don't get to go" tone that sounds more like a nerd who's right about an algebra problem than it is a beggar who has found bread trying to tell another beggar where to find it.

Another use of "exclusive" that drives me equally batty is a tone often taken by those of a more universalist bent where it is used an insult that is much like the terms "narrow minded" or "intolerant".  This use of the word comes from those who would say "how dare you say that Jesus is the only way to God!  That is narrow minded and intolerant of other views!"

The response that rises up in me would be "how dare you say He's not!".

I guess part of the reason that I get so agitated is that I don't think that the Gospel is exclusive at all.  If there was an impassable canyon that everyone had tried and failed to cross but  finally a bridge had been provided to cross it and ANYONE can cross the bridge, would it be "exclusive" to tell people that the bridge was the only way to successfully cross but thank God there was a way across?

If there was an incurable disease but through some miraculous anomaly, a child was born with a natural immunity towards the disease?  Would it be "exclusive" to tell the world that they would all have to get the vaccine that came from that child's blood but thank God, there was a cure!
Since we are talking about the Gospel let's take this metaphor a little further (and it is just a metaphor that will inevitably break down somewhere)... What if the production of a cure required the use of every drop of that child's blood (thus taking the child's life) but both the father and the child agreed that this was necessary to save the world..would it be "intolerant" to say that there was only one vaccine but now there was enough for everyone to get it?  If I was that father, and after losing my son to save the world, someone had the nerve to say in my presence "it' narrow minded to say there's only one vaccine and I don't like getting shots so...no thanks", I can't imagine what I'd I want to do to them...but I might just let them have their way and let them face the sickness unprepared.  Fortunately, God is nothing like me.  He is far more merciful and gracious in pleading with us even as we refuse Him and insult the death of His son.

I know that God is much more than just a father but He IS a father and from that point of view, I just don't believe He would have let Jesus go to the cross if there was ANY other way.  The hard reality is that there was only one way to pay for and cure the brokenness of man so that we could be restored back to God.  The good news and the good news is that Jesus is the only way...and He is the only way that is available to anyone and everyone.

IT'S BEEN A YEAR..

It was one year ago today that we got up at the crack of dawn, loaded up in our mini-van and our rented moving truck and headed down to Nashville.  It was one of the saddest and most exciting drives of my life.  I had no idea that that drive would very much be a symbol of the year that was to come.
and now I'm feeling the weight of this year.

There has been a lot of change.  You always see those lists of top ten stressors in life.  We've checked off most of the top five on that list...We changed cities, changed homes, changed jobs.
Not only have we changed a lot but we have left and lost.  We left a church job that might be the only perfect job description for a worship leader on the planet leading worship for the only perfectly imperfect church on the planet.  We left people at that church that had very much become family.  They're still family but now they don't live close enough to drop by or invite us over for Sunday dinner.

My kids left everything that they would call their childhood up to this point.   They left a neighborhood that was like the neighborhoods you see in old movies where the families all know each other cause they're all outside a lot doing things like Fourth of July parades around the block and impromptu driveway fire pit get togethers at night.  My kids left a church where for seven years they had the royal privileges of being a staff kid where they could roam throughout the building wherever they wanted and we didn't worry about them cause everybody there knew them.


I also lost my older brother in early March.  Him having a heart attack could not have come more out of nowhere than it did.  Mike was the one who somehow always came out of a situation unscathed.  He was the kid in the neighborhood who could ride a wheelie all the way up the cul de sac.  He was the one who could always lay down a game time performance not having practiced at all.  It's been over seven months and I'm still not sure if I have even started the grieving process...but I know I'm really starting to miss my big brother.  Life is a little more scary and I feel a little more exposed with my big brother not being there to finish fights that I started.

We have also gained.  We have gained the comfort of being back in the area that both Jenna and I grew up calling home.  I'm more convinced than ever that the deep seeded longing and dream that feels like home will never be realized on this earth..but it is nice to not have to make a whole new set of friends and start all over like we have in so many other ministry moves.  This time we moved back to people who have known us most of our lives...and we get to add new friends to that mix too.   We also gained a neighborhood right away that is very much like the one we left where it's a real neighborhood with real neighbors who have already become really good friends.

We also added.  In January, we started the process of adopting a little girl named Fodie from Sierra Leone Africa.  Under normal circumstances, we might have waited until life had calmed down a bit but because of an upcoming change in the Sierra Leone law that would make the adoption process much harder, we started the process.  We made a trip to Africa in April to go to court to make her legally ours.  Jenna made another trip in early September to bring her home and she arrived in the U.S. September 4..my big brother's birthday....and just a few days before they started closing the Sierra Leone borders because of the spread of Ebola in the region.
These first couple months with Fodie have seemed like a couple of years but not in a bad way.  I feel like we are watching a little girl who was developmentally and emotionally
a three year old blossom and catch up to the six year old that she actually is.

My body and my emotions are beginning to manifest the effects of all of the change this year has brought.  I am more tired than I think I am and there's more sorrow inside that needs to find it's way out.  I know I need to let myself feel the weight of this year.  In measuring it, I can honestly say that I know I can't bear it...but I can honestly see that I haven't been bearing it.  God has kindly been carrying it for me.  That doesn't mean that I don't need to process some things like grief and change..but I can't force that process and I'm not going to try.  It will happen when it needs to.  I'm just grateful for God's kindness through it all.

BEATING THE FEAR BULLIES

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline" NLT

the voices at 3am are very convincing..we all know the voices... the ones that remind you that certain bills haven't been paid yet...because you haven't been paid yet.  They ask a lot of 'how' questions that really don't sound like questions at all..they sound more like an accusations.

For the single person, they may say stuff like "How are you going to find the right person at this age?..you're so far behind the timeline you laid out...even if you do get married, by the time you do, you'll be to old to start having kids!"

For the CEO the may say stuff like "how much longer do you think you can hide the fact that you really have no clue what you're doing much less how to lead a company with this many people's livelihood at stake?!...Somebody's eventually gonna find you out!"

Those voices sound suspiciously like bullies.  They are loud and intimidating.  They get right up in your face and the only thing you can see is their accusing eyes and all you can hear is the horrible sound of their voice.

But maybe there's a reason that the bully needs to get up in our face.  Our God is so great, so vast, so strong, and so easily seen in all that He has made that the only way the bully can possibly block our view is it get right up in our face so that he is the only thing we can see and hear.

As a guy who often gets to lead, write, and sing songs that talk about the greatness, the vastness, and the strength of our God, I have come to a new insight to what those songs can do on Sunday and throughout the week.  Those songs are a way to push the bully's face away (like you'd do to a little brother when he tries to get up in your face) and lift our eyes to see just how big our God is.  Those songs give us something to sing so loudly that it drowns out the voice of the accuser.  Worship in song is a chance to let God define our circumstance instead of letting our circumstances define us.  Worship is a chance to see the angel army that has surrounded the tiny fear army that has surrounded us.  In our worship, we get to look around the bully and see the Sovereign God who is unchanging and whose goodness will remain long after the voice of fear and all of our terrifying circumstances fade away.

Look up, see Him, sing out, and fear no more.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO FODIE

It's been a little over a month since our newly adopted daughter has been home.  It has been one of the most challenging transitions we've ever made but it is also one of the most rewarding.   But even before Fodie arrived in America, God was already showing me the implications of His love demonstrated in the Gospel...what it means to be adopted and what it means to be called a co-heirs with Christ.

In our process of trying to get Fodie out of Sierra Leone, Africa, where Ebola is running rampant and killing thousands, there was a moment where we were afraid that Fodie's flight would be cancelled.  I knew that if her flight got cancelled that there was a good chance that all flights would be cancelled indefinitely because they would close the border to try to contain the Ebola virus (and they did close the border two days after Fodie arrived home).  In that moment, I realized that, since Fodie was now legally my daughter, I needed to do for her whatever I would do for my biological daughter.  In that context, I realized that, whether by flying to a neighboring country and driving in and out to get her or walking in or whatever, I would get my daughter home no matter what it took.  Even if I risked getting Ebola myself, I would get her out because she was now mine.  Her flight didn't get cancelled and she made it out, but I was ready to do whatever.  That is what God risked when He sent Jesus to earth.  That is the Gospel.

Now that Fodie is with us, Jenna and I have four children.  In other words, four different orthodontist bills, four different doctor bills, four different sets of clothes, two hotel rooms instead of one when we go on vacation now, four very used vehicles (or one very used vehicle to be handed down as each child turns sixteen...sorry kids),  four college tuitions, and someday, four people to share whatever resources we leave behind.

Now that Fodie is with us I am falling in love with her more everyday, but before I ever had any feelings (and even when the feelings I have aren't full of love) I had already legally made her mine and made the choice to give her every right and privilege that my other three children have.  This is the Gospel that God has made us co-heirs through and with Christ.

I knew that Fodie's transition into our family would be very difficult.  After being with her in Africa for a week in our adoption process, I knew that Fodie would try to make it very hard for us to love her because that was the only way she knew how to protect her fragile little heart that had already been wounded and disappointed so many times.  But Jenna and I chose to love her.  Not based on anything she had done to deserve our love but based on our choice...and we choose to love her even when she does everything in her power to defy our love.  We didn't and don't just choose to take her in, meet her needs, and tolerate her.  We chose and choose to love her even on those days where it would be easier to stay detached and guarded so that her rejection of our love doesn't hurt so much.  That is the Gospel.  It is the choice that God has made and makes daily to not just keep His promise of salvation and His covenant of provision, but to Love us.  To truly love us just like He loves Jesus....Just. Like. He. Loves. Jesus.

(picture by Sarah Bridgeman, @sarahjbridgeman)